>I was out to dinner with my parents and siblings for the 5th night in a row. My step-dad, brother and sister were playing over priced arcade games and my mom and I sat at the table drinking beer and talking. We were talking about men. She was giving me the “If I was your age again” speech. I’m not sure what led to this, but out of no where she said, “I like a man to slap me around a little. Take control. Tell me what to do.” I told myself to put my eye brows back down where they belong and close my mouth. Part of me wanted to say, “Ohmygod. Me, too.” but the more rational part of my brain said, “Don’t do it, C. After your buzz wears off you are not going to be happy with yourself.” I waved Walter the waiter over, ordered another round and smiled. “I know what I like and what I want. I’m just waiting for the right one to come along.”
>I am so sick of keeping this secret. I feel like it would be easier to wear a shirt that says “In order to function, I need spanking….No really. I like and need to be spanked.” At first, friends and family would think I was crazy. And then it would just be a normal thing. I wish it was as easy as telling what flavor of ice cream to order you…. Maybe that was the wrong example. I wish it was as easy as giving someone a drink order at Starbucks… Okay, that’s actually not easy for me at all.
I JUST WISH IT WAS EASIER.
I don’t want to have everyone call me C anymore. C is not my real name. Neither is Darling. I just want to say, “here is my name. Use it. ” But I can’t. My name is unique. I can pretty much guarantee you don’t know anyone else with the same name, so if by some slim chance you do know me in vanilla world and you read my blog, there is no way in hell you aren’t going to think/know it’s me. I don’t care. I feel like sending everyone I know an email with the link to my blog. Then I won’t have to constantly delete my browsing history or change my passwords. I won’t care if someone is looking over my shoulder while I’m writing a post. I’ll be able to let my little brother play Angry Birds on my iphone without the fear of a tweet popping up that he can’t read.
I don’t want to look on spankfinder to find someone. The only people I’ve found on spankfinder are men at least 40 years older than me, looking for a sexual relationship. WHERE ON MY PROFILE DID I GIVE THAT IMPRESSION? When I put an age range up, it’s like a speed limit. It’s a speed limit and I’m a cop. A mean cop. If you go over 37 MPH, I’m giving you a ticket. No getting out of it. Same thing with age. If you are over 37, I am not interested. If you could have aided in my creation, I AM NOT INTERESTED.
I’m not a switch.I don’t want to switch. I think switching is great. Yah for people who know what they want. That is not what I want. I am a bottom. I am not a top. I am good at topping, but I don’t like it. I don’t want to do it. Please don’t ask me. I have a problem saying no, so I’ll say yes and then I’ll hate it. And then in order to end it, I’ll have to be mean and I just don’t want to be mean.
I want to be able to walk down the street or into the library or a bar and be able to meet a guy that doesn’t think I’m insane for wanting a DD relationship.
Here is what I’m looking for. Maybe we could all pull our resources and make this happen soonish. I’ve got a wedding to go to the first week of May. I’d like a date.
I want a man. Age 23-37. Attractive. Taller than 5’4. Able to have an intelligent conversation. Doesn’t cringe at the thought of children. Has a good personality and a sense of humor. Knows the difference between their, there and they’re. Can handle a DD relationship. Lives within a 30 mile radius of C-town, North Carolina. Celebrates holidays. Isn’t already married. Has a good scolding voice.
- because I want to
- black and white
- Corner time
- Good Girl
- real life
- Robert Frost
- soap in mouth
- talking back